We were to meet today for a pancake breakfast at St Mary's Star of the Sea they serve from 8a-12p on the second Sunday of the month (for $6 a person - they have a family price too) throughout the winter, as this was the last weekend until later in the year when it resumes. I found out late last night he had some more issues occur after he got off work at 7p, which really hurt him and made him not want to meet or even speak to anyone - a shame as he had been very excited to go, even wanting to leave enough time to visit, before he'd have to go to work for the day. I went later in the day, closer to the end of serving time, and met up with my workmate Carey who is the Chief Pancake Maker. He hooked me up with a plate of hot cakes, as well as honoured my request to take a few along for my friend who couldn't make it. Carey is one of the coolest people I've met since working for the Census. An all-around great guy, both at and outside of work. He did me one better, he had already started a to-go container as soon as he realised my friend hadn't come to eat, and then began to fill it with many pancakes, not just a few. Then he made me a second boxful to take home for my family. Sweet! He's a giver too; he takes notice, and acts. One of those rare people.
As for my friend, it's hard to sit by and watch him have so many ups and downs, and not be able to do more to help him, or find away to fix things. It really got to me last night to know he was so low, and that there was nothing I could do, and that the one thing he had been looking forward to, (as was I) he'd now miss out on. I was really sad for him, and some other people I know who are going through some terrible home-life issues. It's just hard to watch and hear sometimes, especially as I have been through some of the same things during my life, and know how hard it is.
As for my friend, it's hard to sit by and watch him have so many ups and downs, and not be able to do more to help him, or find away to fix things. It really got to me last night to know he was so low, and that there was nothing I could do, and that the one thing he had been looking forward to, (as was I) he'd now miss out on. I was really sad for him, and some other people I know who are going through some terrible home-life issues. It's just hard to watch and hear sometimes, especially as I have been through some of the same things during my life, and know how hard it is. Lucky for me, one of my online friends was a shoulder for me to unload on late last night, something that is very rare. I am a giver, and try to do as much for people, especially friends and family as I can. Often times, when I am in need, no one seems to notice. Perhaps as most times I just try to put on a happy face, and not let the things show that get to me, or ask for help. Sometimes you just wish someone would notice and help you without asking. I can count the times on my two hands when someone has during my lifetime. I am not complaining, but I believe that more people should help others, or keep an eye out for their friends or family members, to really see them and be alert and aware if something is up. I was lucky to have my friend just listen to my rant, sadness and frustration as they spewed forth from within. I felt truly unworthy to rant to him as he has some very huge issues in his own life, yet made time for me.
No matter how bad we feel or think our lives are, there is always someone we know who has/lives a much worse situation, which shows us how ours are really nothing, even though we feel they are. That is when you give thanks, or count yourself lucky, buck up and plod on. My plate isn't as full as theirs, nor would I want it to be, and I wish many times I could ease that for them in some way. I hate to see people hurt or in need, especially when I may be able to help.
Today, another long-time online friend did more of the same - and we spent about three and a half hours chatting in the sun outside. It totally lifted my spirits for a time, as did a visit to my daughter at work to bring her the chow mein I had brought her from Mpls, and more than anything, getting a long overdue hug from her as well as an, "I love you, Mom." I nearly bawled right then and there. We don't get to spend much time together as she's been in a very busy and in a non-mom, all-grown-up-on-her-own kinda mode for the past year or so. I don't see or talk to her much, but she welcomed me today and was the one to initiate the hug - which just melted my heart. I really miss her, and time with her.
Later, when her break was over, I headed for my next delivery to the other side of the Mall, to wait for a bus. Soon it came, and no one got off, so it nearly took off too fast, luckily the driver turned his head sideways to notice me waving and running, and stopped. I climbed aboard and delivered the pancakes to him. He was clearly stunned. I let him know that they came from Carey, and that he was sorry to hear that he couldn't make the breakfast, and hooked him up. I gave him a big hug, and told him to be strong, and he just shook his head and said, "Thank you." I said, "People love and care about you. Take care of yourself." I then gave him one more hug, for strength. He looked so sad, yet blown away by our simple efforts to make things a little better for him. We can't fix things for him, but we can show we care, and try to help in some small ways. That is what true friendship is all about.
The sun was shining today, making me feel a whole lot better, and hopefully him too, as he loves the sun as well, and really needed it more than I did. I hope he was able to enjoy it some during his workday in spite of where his head was, and at the end of the day as it was setting - much later due to the time change for spring. Sometimes I wish I had the power to give someone a day off when they're just in need of not having to work while dramas are filling their lives. Having these past few days off myself really helped me to feel a lot better than I had been feeling for the past week or so. Having some good friends and some of my family to share time with made it even better.
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